I once had a fuckbuddy who’s housemate had sex 7 guys in a week. One night after the other from Tinder. Pretty crazy ay?
Knows what’s even crazier?
He was only a couple days away from moving in
Know what’s even crazier than that?
She was engaged and about to be married and he had no idea it ever happened, even though he thought they’d been monogamous for years
I’ve heard countless male strippers talking about the amount of wives that cheat, Now, I’m not bringing these stories to your attention so I can rant and rave about how women are evil and all that “I circle-jerk with Rollo Tommasi in my mums basement” shit
Men cheat too.
All I want is to bring a few universal and biological truths to your awareness that will make you less prone to this happening and more accepting of it if it ever did
Above all, the more you fear being cheated on the more likely it is to happen Girls will test you on this. Undoubtedly if you’re fearful in this regard, something, whether trivial or direct, will trigger your fear and ultimately your inadequacy. When a girl sees this fear and inadequacy it pretty much tells her that she SHOULD cheat. Not to mention any guy you show jealousy about will automatically become the forbidden fruit, and a “so wrong but so right fantasy” (girls love that shit!!)
Now, how do you actually overcome this?
Well most coaches in pickup would say. Oh if you just become alpha enough, attractive enough and improve your game enough, then no girl will cheat.
And as much as I condone developing your masculinity and social skills. If Leonardo Dicaprio approaches your girl when you’re not around, good luck buddy.
So how do you really get rid of the fear of your girl cheating, or even just the jealousy of her being attracted to another guy?
Here’s 4 things you can do to get past this self fulfilling poison:
1) Love yourself so much that you don’t NEED women’s validation
Now, this is not some MGTOW bullshit. But put simply, we grow attachments to external possessions and the ownership of people because it helps temporarily to soothe our sense of not feeling good enough.
To give you a short run down on how to love yourself (something I’m going to go deep into in time), think about your actions and activities. Things you subject yourself to and think are you being loving to yourself? When you really want to say or do something you feel is true to you and aligns with your values, but you don’t express it or do it, is that being loving to yourself? When you let your negative self talk run you or subject yourself to a lifestyle you hate everything about just to get approval, is that loving? You get the drift
2) Feel the feeling of fear and inadequacy completely and let it go
You’re going to hear me talk about the power of emotional release a lot in the coming years and that’s because it’s ridiculously effective. What does it consist of? In short. Quieting your thoughts, getting in touch with your emotions, allowing your negative emotions to be there and surrendering to them and their full intensity until they run out. Often you’ll be triggered by situations and you’ll have the emotions right on the surface and can engage with this process, or sometimes you may need to think of the thoughts that trigger these negative feelings. Either way, feel them out and don’t feel the need to
intellectualise and label them. Once you allow yourself to feel the emotion fully, after a while it will often subside completely or at least feel lighter in intensity.
You may remember a time when you’ve cried and you automatically felt better afterwards. I don’t have time to go into the science behind this but there are powerful positive shifts that happen in your conscious and subconscious when these negative emotions are relinquished.
3) Realise that all girls are sexual beings just like us
Yep. No matter how much your girl loves you, she’s still a sexual creature who will be attracted to other men. This is not supported by the ideal of monogamy that we’re mostly subjected to and conditioned to growing up but it’s the truth. The best thing you can do is learn to love that side of her (no, I’m not saying you have to be cuckold), but appreciate and more importantly accept the slutty, promiscuous, animalistic side of her.
Something you can do that may sound counterintuitive is think about another guy fucking your girl. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that come up and feel them out till they dissipate. This will bring you closer to a point of acceptance. I have a friend who told me he let a woman he cared about get fucked in front of him to accept this very concept.
4) Give up on the idea that you have to be better than everyone else to accept yourself
I recently posed the question to myself. How would I feel if the current girl I’m seeing left me? At first I felt a bit hurt but through releasing I came to a place of acceptance.
I then posed the question, how would I feel if she left me for another guy? Again, I felt a bit of hurt. And then had the thought that it would hurt a lot more if I considered the other guy to be better than me.
I then realised feeling better than someone else only served me because it gave me a false sense of security. It’s incredibly fragile. And any time you put yourself in comparison, you’re already putting yourself in question.
The way to unlock a strong sense of security in this situation is to let go of the need to always be better than everyone else. Accept that there will always be a guy more attractive, better at game, richer and so on.
By accepting that you’re not always going to be the most attractive, you become more attractive because you’re not always seeking out the validation and reassurance needed to keep your ego intact.
This one has been long but I feel it’s important. A lot of these ideas can be applied to anything. At the end of the day it’s the people who don’t need anyone else’s approval or validation who get the most approval and validation.